| It's been quite a while since I've logged onto Xanga. But there are a few things I'd like to say.
That may be the reason why I have a Xanga. Isn't logic wonderful?
Well, One thing is the whole YFC/CFC-Youth issue thing. I mean, they're not different things, just that in SWFL, it's YFC, not CFC-Youth (See, we're not updated, and the biggest group around here consists of our very own Immokalee...ians, who call it YFC. :D). But you know how everyone's like
"Oh, I'll fight for God, and I'll go to the ends of the Earth,"
and blah, blah, blah.
Okay, so don't get mad at me because I'm saying this, but you probably know it too. a TON of YFC people are hypocritical. That's why there are things like Athiesm and Pagans and stuff like that, because we're hypocrites. I have to admit, my whole life isn't to God. At the moment, it's school and stuff. I've realized now, after being in JROTC and IB and stuff, it really is hard for kids to keep the faith.
I've realized, that middle school is a giant whole you fall into for three years, and then your freshman year is trying to get out of it. You can't truly be pressured like high schoolers are in middle school. And I didn't know that. Sure, I'm well-informed about Catholicism (a reason why I don't really like going to Confirmation classes; I feel like a nerd all over again.), and you know, but I haven't gone through the worst of it.
I'm a h y p o c r i t e, I admit it. I try not to curse, but I do, I'm more dedicated to the Drill and Raider teams than the Lord who made these teams become real. If I can not drink soda for Raiders, and walk around my house practicing flanks, then why can't I fast for the Lord and practice what I preach? It's a question that I've asked myself for at least two months now, but it wasn't something I thought about every day.
After all of these months, we finally had a meeting for YFC. I was happy; I got to see my other friends again! Maybe that's why I was so happy. That's what I thought.
But when we started praise and worship, I felt like I belonged somewhere again. Sure, I must say, I'm going on this Raider diet because I suck at Raiders, and I'm practicing my Drill movements because I want to make the All-Female Unarmed Squad for CCHS. But whilst I was doing that, I didn't feel like I really belonged to these oraganizations. Sure, I worked hard, and I'm a pretty good LET1 for any of these things, but I felt unappreciated. Like, it didn't matter if I was there or not.
Singing about the Lord and worshiping him really reminded me that
Yes, someone cares. Your hard work is not in vain. Somebody there's there with you every single step of the way.
I felt like I had a home. I had this feeling, that made me want to start YFC up again in SWFL, that zeal I had back in middle school. I want to lead people closer the Christ, because...because I don't want to be selfish and keep this feeling all to myself. That's not the point. If I did, that feeling wouldn't be there.
I want people to know that He if the way, the truth, and the light. He is he Prince of Peace, Lamb of God...
He is real. |
